Coffee Talk

Making Connections or Breeding Insecurities?

By Brianna Savoca

Weekend mornings in the crisp, fall weather of the Midwest brews the perfect excuse for women to gather at local coffee shops. Sipping on lattes and espresso, women chatter about girlfriends, family, work, school, and men.

I participated in this ritual this morning, with a girlfriend in from out-of-town for Ohio University's Homecoming weekend.

As I waited in line for my pumpkin pie chai latte, I couldn't help but notice all the cliques of women gathered at tables in pairs, threesomes, and foursomes, in "Sex & the City"

fashion. Some women spoke animatedly, hashing out stories from the night before. Some women sat listening and engaged in the conversation. Some women had smiles, while many women had lines of worry etched across their faces.

This got me thinking. Do our conversations at coffee shops strengthen our bonds with girlfriends, or do they cause insecurities to flourish in the compare and contrast nature of our conversations?

My girlfriend and I pleasantly bantered about our current job situations, men, and girlfriends we had not spoken to in a while. Our conversation was full of updates and sharing news.

However, I could not help but notice the women next to us seemed to has a much different atmosphere at their table. Waiting for my girlfriend who went to get her coffee, I overheard some of their conversation.

One woman in particular seemed frustrated, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes as a poised woman spoke enthusiastically about her successful date. When the aggravated woman blurted out, "We know your life is perfect." The other woman reassured her that her luck would change and not to worry.

But people do worry. Saying not to worry almost encourages a person to worry more. Plus, the look on the woman's face clearly showed her worries were not eased by her friend's reassurance.

Here are my questions: Women watch shows like "Sex & the City," where girlfriends meet up for friendly conversations and update each other on their lives. However, do we benefit from these conversations? Or do we leave feeling more hopeless than before? Does it all depend on the day? Are some girlfriends better coffee-mates than others?

My coffee date left me feeling fulfilled and happy, since I got to meet up with my girlfriend who I had not seen in a while. Overall, I enjoy my coffee dates with my girlfriends.

I just hope they all leave not only feeling perked up by the caffeine, but also perked up by light-hearted conversation and our common bond as girlfriends.

Is "Love You Biotch" Really Love?

Terms of Endearment or Slinging Insults? The Double Meaning of Women-Hating Words.
By Brianna Savoca

**WARNING: Explicit content and offensive words are included in this post.**

Slut muffin. Whore. Hoe bag. Biotch. Are you offended yet? Should you be offended?

After watching "Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami," a reality television program on the E! network, my boyfriend's mom and I discussed the use of these typically women-hating words. For readers who are not familiar with this TV show, Kourtney and Khloe, two of the Kardashian sisters, often call one another "whore" or "biotch" on the show.

My boyfriend's mother said she hated the way two sisters called each other such degrading names. However, the Kardashians typically use whore or biotch as a term of endearment while engaging in casual and humorous dialogue on the show. Thus, the Kardashian sisters embrace these ordinarily derogatory terms. This is true for many television programs, movies, and even informal conversation between girlfriends.

Biotch seems to replace hun, sweetie, chick, or cutie in casual greetings and good-byes. One example I overhear constantly on campus is, "See you later, biotch!"

Still, today's conversation made me wonder- What should our societal protocol be when it comes to the usage of these words?

When it comes to casual, conversational use of slut, hoe, whore, etc. are we further perpetuating the negative connotations of these words? Or are we embracing them, thus reversing the normal harmful repercussions of women-hating words?

A certain shock value accompanies these words. However, some of the shock

may come from societal interpretations of the words based on standard norms.

For example, "bitch" carries a certain amount of shock value. The definition of bitch is a lewd woman, a woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing, or a weak man. On the contrary, a bitch usually is a powerful woman. Most men feel threatened by a powerful woman, so bitch has become a negatory insult and patriarchal slur towards women.

Therefore, using bitch as a term of endearment or in a positive, casual manner, lessens these harsh, negative connotations of the word. One could argue using "bitch" in a positive tone amongst girlfriends actually empowers women. However, calling a women a "bitch" in a negative light simply perpetuates the derogatory associations of the word.

Should feminists of the world embrace these terms? Let's try it.

All you wonderful hoe bag, bitches, slut muffins, and whores can do anything you put mind to. Fight patriarchy, and embrace your femininity. Be a bitch, and be proud of it.